Carpe Jugulum The High School Play
by darkskysong
Summary: The students of Mountain High have a glorious week of stuffing around with a play that their teacher wants them to do. But glorious isn't what it's cracked up to be. [Vampires, Nobles and an evil man]


**Carpe Jugulum - The High School Play**

This is a short story influenced by the book Carpe Jugulum written by Terry Pratchett that I thought would be fun to write. I do not claim that the story is good, it's probably bad, I wrote a few years ago. It involves some mates of mine, which have all consented to the publishing of this story.

Disclaimer: I in no way own any part of Carpe Jugulum.

**Carpe Jugulum Cast List**

_Manipulator:_Mr. Frankcombe

_Vampires:_Aaron Wallis, Robyn

_Nobles:_Aaron Williams, Alistair, Ben M, Mandy, Rebecca, Sarah D

_Peasants:_Andrew, Beau, Ben J, Courtney, Kiani, Kristy, Michelle, Nathan, Pagean, Rachael, Sarah H

NB: There were witches in this story but I did not include them as I read the book ages before deciding to write this so I had forgotten the plot.

* * *

You walk into 9 Indigo and you see Mr. Frankcombe sitting in the chair. It is first period Monday morning and he had a big smile on his face as he did when he had good news.

Student Interpretation of Last Sentence: It was the start of the week and Frankcombe had an evil grin for more bad work.

"Good news everybody. We're doing a play all week without any other subjects," he said happily.

"It ain't by that Shakespeare dude is it?" asked Ben J.

"No. I found a play based on Carpe Jugulum, a Terry Pratchett novel."

"Who?" Michelle said.

"Honestly Michelle," Robyn muttered, "You wouldn't know a bloody author if they jumped out in front of you and stabbed you through the heart with a pencil." Unfortunately Frankie heard the remark and gave her a hidden, evil yet teasingly friendly look.

"All right. Kiani, Courtney, Pagean and Sarah H, in my office are 5 large boxes, get them. The rest of us are going to clear the room of desks and chairs." He started ordering the students around. Each of the tables and chairs got thrown out into the corridor where everyone else in the school was going to trip over them. 9 Indigo didn't particularly care who got hurt in the mean time, they were happy to do something that would let them stuff around for the week.

Inside the boxes were the scripts, props and clothing. Aaron Wallis and Robyn tipped out every single thing in the boxes into a corner of the room. The more intelligent people in the class, like Sarah D, Robyn, Aaron Wallis and Ben M, all got the main roles. The less intelligent (so not to insult their intelligence, oh wait, they don't have any), the morons got the unimportant just-for-plot's-sake parts. Just so the people know, Robyn and Aaron got the lead Vampire parts and the rest of the main roles were high-status humans, (nobles you'd call them).

Practice started off with everyone getting into their roles and cracking jokes about each other's acting abilities. Well, they all pretty much sucked at acting and the people who thought they were good beforehand were even worse. The first night settled in as the whole class forgot about everything else other than the play. It was late when the last of the students, Robyn, fell asleep in the corner. Typically, they had separated into their divisions of important roles and unimportant roles. Actually the important people couldn't stand the unimportant people so they kicked them out to find somewhere else to sleep.

Moonlight shredded through the heavy clouds and into the room where the intelligent people slept. Each person twitched as a beam struck their face and they fell deeper into unconsciousness. When they awoke the students felt extremely happy about themselves and the roles they were 'playing'.

The show must go on as they say. The main actors and actresses hardly needed to read their lines off the script. It was like they entirely learnt them off by heart during their sleep. By the afternoon, all of the students were extremely serious about the play; the morons didn't want to be uncool by not doing their part properly.

It may have been lucky that other people didn't occupy the school the whole entire week because of term break… or was it planned. For what happens next, no one knew until now. These recollections were gained at a cost to the author.

That night, the cast of Carpe Jugulum spread out to occupy the whole area of Mountain High. The peasants took to every room they could get into and did not care whether they left the room in ruins or not. Most often it was ruins. The nobles appropriated the library for themselves and sectioned off their end of the corridor against unwanted visitors. However they invited everybody to a party in celebration for who knows why. The most secretive were the vampires, though no one remembered they were bloodsuckers. They went about the halls without a care in the world even associating with the nobles, yet what else they did was a mystery.

Late on the third afternoon a short scream rent the air in the Art and Design department, furthest away from where the majority of the cast were gathered. Ben M and Robyn were the first to run down to the corridor and to arrive on the scene.

Michelle was sitting on a workbench in the woodwork room, face pale and a mallet on the floor. She explained that she accidentally dropped the mallet on her foot and she was perfectly fine otherwise. Michelle shoved her hair back behind her ear and off her face so she could see where she was putting her good foot as Ben M helped her to the room she was currently living in. Robyn noticed two red marks on the back of her neck; she didn't dare mention it to anyone.

There were no more accidents for the rest of the day. However Aaron Wallis was looking extremely happy when they saw him at dinner.

Next morning Sarah D treated Aaron Williams for a flu infection, as he was very pale when the nobles got up. Robyn tried to cheer him up as she was in a perky mood but even though he told her to go away, her good mood didn't let up; unlike the freezing rain that was bucketing down.

Rachael was found later that morning in the administration hall and with her skin utterly white. Andrew was at the other end of the corridor, dead, but went unnoticed for a long time before one of the peasants accidentally tripped over him during a stroll.

The nobles worried that an epidemic was going around the cast as Alistair and Mandy were found in the music practice rooms that night. They were rocking backwards and forwards on the floor, their faces flushed.

Robyn and Aaron Wallis appeared here and there all over the school. Yet no one ever saw them arrive or leave the corridors. Whenever someone did see them, they would always be in a better mood than everyone else in the room, except when the peasants were extremely happy (mayhap they had gotten to the gas or chemicals in the science lab, even the glue wasn't safe). Robyn and Aaron usually avoided those places as often as they could.

The next day passed without incident. However Sarah D was frightened during the middle of the following night by disembodied chittering and squeaks coming from inside the library and the corridor outside.

The peasants Nathan, Beau, Pagean, Kiani and Ben J were busily wrecking the primary rooms in the administration hall. They barged into an unlocked dark room and turned on the lights. Aaron Wallis hissed at them from his perch over an unconscious Rebecca. Blood started to well from two pricks on her neck. Nathan, Beau, and Ben J jumped back into the corridor and the girls cried out. They launched into a run, heading for the main hall. Robyn emerged from nowhere and slammed the boys so hard that they were knocked out cold. Pagean and Kiani had withdrawn from the unsettling sight and had seen the boys fall. Aaron Wallis emerged and stuck the girls with his spell so they too went unconscious.

"You're lucky Aaron" said Robyn reproachfully.

"All thanks to you, sweet" he replied with a flash of his fang.

They swept into the shadows once more and wandered the school like the ghosts they were.

Sarah D and Ben M, the head nobles, deduced their fellow nobles were vampires from the hazy memories of the peasants who were attacked. They were questioned for an hour or so after they had been found lying in the corridor. Pagean and Kiani were dead and the others were badly shaken; Rebecca had recovered but was still pale, just like Michelle. The head nobles waited until the morning to tell every one else. They found that all the nobles, including Ben M and Sarah D, had been bitten by the sly and cunning vampires.

Every single member of the cast was roused into a furious frenzy. The vampires had to be stopped and so they had to die. They rounded up useful equipment that afternoon (broken chair legs, made crosses, etc – sorry no holy water in sight) and set out during the daylight hours to search the entire school. They split into pairs, determined to find Robyn and Aaron Wallis at all costs, hunting them down like rabid animals.

The teams of Sarah H and Courtney, and Rachael and Michelle fell first to the vampires' touch. They were found unmarked in the science corridor outside of the library. The nobles and the peasants continued the hunt all through the night, though danger was high. Many times Robyn and Aaron Wallis let themselves be seen; sometimes together, other times alone.

It was dawn on the last day when the rest of the living cast cornered and roped the vampires at the end of the Hall of Nations. Ben M and Sarah D crept in; the rest kept them from escaping. Aaron Wallis and Robyn stood defiant in the circle, not backing down. Sarah D advanced on Robyn while Ben M went for Aaron Wallis. They were poised for the final killing blows.

The outside door flung open and everyone froze by this new intrusion. All the outside openings in the school had previously been locked and impervious to breakage. Mr. Frankcombe slashed his hand across the entire cast, grinning maniacally. (One cast member, who shall remain nameless, mentioned that a corrupted laugh escaped him. No one else corroborated this report.)

Sarah D dropped her weapon first, realizing she had been about to kill her best friend. The class of 9 Indigo also lost their overriding characters from Carpe Jugulum. Each person was so relieved that the nightmare play and its magic were over.

All the dead people appeared from the music room, where they had been stored. No one was actually hurt nor was the school damaged in any way. They stared Frankcombe down, as he seemed to have been their manipulator.

So he was. After the students left Mountain High's grounds they forgot the entire episode had ever happened.

As to what Frankie did afterwards, we'll never know. He may even be stalking the halls of your high school, looking for fresh meat (cough) I mean cast.

* * *

A/N: I don't care if you flame me or love the damn thing, but I need critisism so if you have a bit to nitpick, do it! please.


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